Bryce
If you know me then you know I love finding ways to make additional income. In the past banks gave out toasters for opening an account, and now they give out several hundred dollars (see Chase offer). Opening bank accounts to collect sign on bonuses is one of the easiest money making schemes. You sign up online, fulfill their requirements (like parking a certain amount in the account for 90 days or setting up direct deposit), collect the sign on bonus, and then close the account. Rinse and repeat with a different bank. All perfectly legal and easy to execute while having your morning cup of coffee.
At the height of my banking career I probably had 12-15 checking/savings accounts and earned a couple thousand a year via bonuses. I’ve since dialed it back because I wanted simply our finances and at a certain point banks realize they’re going to lose money on your account and decline you. For instance, I took advantage of Chase’s $600 offer two years ago and applied for the chase offer linked above while writing this and was denied. Still perfectly legal though.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of opening a new but different kind of bank account.
A Different Kind of Banking
We met Dr. V yesterday morning to discuss ALL treatment options and the routes treatment could take depending on my risk level and body’s reaction to treatment. I’m currently “standard risk” which is good news, but Leukemia is caused by a chromosome mutation, and we still have to determine which one caused mine. The most common mutations have been ruled out, and we’re looking to call up a mutation from the minors. Hopefully, the mutation is a team player and keeps me in the standard risk classification.
Standard risk treatment consists of eight cycles of chemotherapy, and each cycle is three or four weeks long. I’ll spend the first cycle in the hospital and days 1-5 inpatient for each subsequent cycle as well. If hospitals had loyalty rewards, I’d be executive platinum by year end. You graduate to maintenance chemo once you make it through the eight cycles, which means another two years of less frequent, less toxic chemo. That’s a lot of chemo.
One of the unfortunate side effects of chemo is infertility. After two and a half years of chemo it may take years to recover my fertility and there’s a chance I’m sterile once we get to the other side. We discussed with Dr. V and he was comfortable with delaying admission until Thursday or even Friday as long as my bloodwork and organ function looked good. Labs were returned in the afternoon and everything looked okay.
MB and I went to Arkansas Fertility Clinic and opened a new bank account. It’s the first time in my life that I’ve been able to deposit tens of millions when opening an account 🙂 We’re going to boost the account to a hundred million Thursday morning and then head to UAMS for admission. Of all the accounts I’ve opened, I’m confident this account with have the best return on investment.
Metrics that Matter
- Physical feels: 7/10 – fatigued but no pain
- Emotional feels: 8/10 – optimistic and thankful organ function was good enough to delay admission for sperm banking
- Butt: still intact
- Re: packing list
Tomorrow’s Plans
Drop off a deposit at the bank and then admission at UAMS in the afternoon.
